Baby Blues
by goldpiece
Summary: When Brennan has trouble coping with the death of a child, can Booth keep her from withdrawing completely when their friends fall into a baby boom?
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Okay just so everyone is aware, this story deals with some adult issues which is why it is rated M. There will be a bit of spoilerish information in later chapters, so if you don't want to have anything ruined then don't read past chapter one before the start of season six. There's nothing in this chapter to worry about though so just be aware of that when you start the story. This story was originally supposed to be a spoof dealing with the issue of multiple Bones pregnancies appearing in stories because that always drove me crazy when everyone and their mother would get pregnant at the same time. Instead it's turned into something much more poignant but I hope you enjoy this either way. Please let me know what you think of this story. I appreciate feedback in all its forms._

"Sweetie, you absolutely have to buy this house," Angela gushed as the two women walked through the hallway of the five bedroom colonial. The house sat on three acres of land just outside of Arlington, Va. It was a historic home dating back to the eighteenth century, but had additions made to the property in later years. The house really did have everything Temperance put on her list of needs, including a guest house for her father and a pool for Parker to use.

"You're just saying that because you live two properties down the road." Brennan closed her eyes and rubbed at her back and side. Pregnancy sometimes seemed to disagree with her as it did today. She grimaced when she pulled her hand away, the pain seeming to intensify when she took pressure off of the spot. Angela eyes her friend but said nothing regarding the movement.

"Well okay, that might have something to do with hit, but I think it's perfect for you."

"It does happen to have everything I'm looking for in a property. I doubt I'll find anything else as suited to my needs."

"So, are you going to put an offer on it?"

"If we can tear Booth away from the media room then yes, I think I will." Both women laughed and headed to the media room to retrieve the wayward FBI agent.

"You know he should just move in with as much as he'll be over here with Parker."

"Yes, well I'm sure that would go over well with his son."

"Of course it would Sweetie; he's practically your step son as it is." Temperance looked over at Angela sharply.

"Don't say that Ange."

"Oh come on Bren, you know that's how you feel about him, and that was before you were six months pregnant."

"We aren't going to discuss this right now. Can you please just leave my personal life alone?"

"I'm going to dismiss your attitude because you're pregnant and hormones make people crazy, but someone has to look out for your wellbeing."

"My wellbeing? I take very good care of myself. My wellbeing is just fine." Brennan yanked open the French doors leading to the media room, startling Booth with the aggressive move. He frowned and looked at Brennan's flushed face as she remained by the door waiting for him.

"Bones, you okay? You look a little flushed." He approached her and pressed his hand to her forehead when he reached her. She tried to stop the move, but he slapped away her hands. "Hey, you feel warm. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Would the two of you just leave me alone please?" Booth held his hands up in surrender and backed away from the grumpy anthropologist.

"Okay, fine. I'll give you your space. Are you still up for this evening?" Booth placed his hand on Brennan's lower back and led her toward the front doors of the large house.

"Yes, I'll be fine. I'm looking forward to the event."

"Yeah well at least someone is. Are you sure you aren't too sick to go so I'll have an excuse not to show up?"

"Aren't you tough guy types supposed to like things like presidential commendations," Angela said as the trio met the realtor outside. Booth glanced over at the artist with a wry smile.

"I don't think it's an honor to get an award for killing someone. The only reason I'm accepting is because my boss is insisting I accept."

"Well that's not right at all," Angela said and turned to Brennan. "Sweetie, maybe you should feign illness."

"So, what did you think of the house?" The three looked up, startled by the rather perky real estate agent.

"I believe I'll put in an offer."

"Wonderful! Shall we go to my office and take care of the paperwork?"

"Bones, you go ahead. I have to pick up my tuxedo, so I'll see you this evening. Your dad's okay with watching Parker?"

"Yes, of course. He'll be by about six to watch him."

"Great, then I'll see the two of you this evening." Booth gave a quick squeeze to Brennan's shoulder and headed to the Sequoia. He waved to both women as he got in and drove off. Angela smirked and shook her head as she turned her attention back to Temperance. Despite her vehement denial that there was anything wrong, Angela could see Temperance struggle to maintain her composure. She was six months into a difficult pregnancy and thus far managed to deal, but something had to give. The anthropologist looked exhausted but refused to slow down. Booth's right, she thought as Brennan spoke with the real estate agent, she really needs to stay at home this evening.

XxXxX

"I don't think this dress looks right," Brennan said as she looked in the mirror. Her baby bump showed in the empire waist dress she chose to wear that evening. When she'd tried it on in the store, the purple color looked better, but now there was something off. Angela came over to see what was wrong with the dress. She spotted the problem immediately.

"Sweetie, you're flushed red. Do you have a fever?| She reached out to feel Brennan's face. "You're burning up."

"Ange, I'm fine. My body temperature is elevated due to my pregnancy, but I'm sure it's still within normal parameters."

"No, I don't think so. Just indulge me and take your temperature," Angela said as she headed to Brennan's bathroom. She glanced up in the mirror when she grabbed the thermometer, frowning as Temperance rubbed at her back and side again. She was absolutely sure there was more to the fever than the anthropologist was letting on.

"I'm telling you Ange, I'm fine. You know I've been having some issues with this pregnancy," Temperance said as she took the thermometer from Angela.

"Is that the reason you keep rubbing your side?"

"He's just very active today and it's not helping the gas pain."

"Just take your temperature please." Angela watched Brennan until the thermometer beeped. She snagged it from Temperance and looked at the reading. "Bren, change into something comfortable and call Booth. You're going to the hospital now."

"Why? I told you…"

Because you have a fever of one hundred two." The two women looked at each other for a moment before Temperance nodded and sat down on her bed. Angela let out a sigh of relief before digging through a dresser and tossing some sweats out at Temperance. "Put those on and we'll go, okay?"

Brennan nodded and began to change. Now that she was getting changed, she admitted that she wasn't feeling well. Her temperature worried her. Over one hundred one degrees and you had to go to the emergency room. How did she miss the fact that she truly was sick, and what was wrong with her? A pain shot through her side and she was very grateful that she was sitting down. She doubled over and gasped for breath. Her hands trembling, she picked up her phone and dialed Booth's number. She cursed under her breath when it went into his voicemail.

"Booth, I'm not able to attend your commendation ceremony. It seems that you were correct and I do have a fever so I'll be going to the hospital to make sure there's nothing wrong." When she hung up the phone, she closed her eyes, surprised by how her realization that she was feverish made her feel sick. She felt weak as the pain in her side and back increased.

Angela bustled around the room grabbing sweats and other comfortable clothes before tossing them onto the bed. She grabbed an overnight bag from the closet and filled it with the pile of clothing on the bed. She'd never been so worried for her friend. Something was wrong and it was serious.

"You ready to go," she asked and helped Brennan to her feet. Temperance followed her without saying a word, and with that Angela's concern got cranked up another notch. "Let's get you checked out, okay?"

XxXxX

Booth looked toward the door of the ballroom one more time as he watched for Temperance and Angela to arrive. He glanced at his watch again and sighed. Where were they? As he pulled out his cellphone to check for messages, he noticed someone approaching him.

"You look like a very distracted man."

"Bones isn't here yet. She's not one to be late so I'm getting a little worried."

"She's fine, I'm sure. Now, why is it you're here for a presidential commendation but you look so completely bored?"

"I hate these things," he said and looked back to the doorway. He'd been joking with Brennan when he told her not to show up, but now he wondered if she really was sick.

"Let me guess, you'd much rather be at home watching a hockey game than do anything as high brow as this."

"Yes, I would rather be home, but it's because I don't really want this whole…deal," Booth said as he waved his hand around the room. Before he could say anything else, his phone began to vibrate. He flipped it open, walking away from his companion to concentrate on the phone call."

"Booth," he said, not checking the caller id.

"Booth, it's Max. Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"What? Why would I be at the hospital? Did something happen to Parker?"

"No, he's fine. Tempe's there, didn't she call you?"

"She's in the… what happened?"

"I don't know. Angela called me from the emergency room, but didn't have any details. I'm here with Parker so I can't get over there to see her."

"I'm leaving right now. I'll call as soon as I know what's going on." He hung up the phone and blew out a frustrated breath.

"What's the matter?" Booth turned and looked at his companion and put his hands on his waist.

"Bones is in the hospital. I need to go now."

"I don't think that's a good idea. How often are you going to receive an honor like this? You can't just run off like that."

"I'm sure they'll understand. Can you tell Hacker what's going on? I have to get out of here."

"Sure, I can do that. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Can you stop by my place and get me some clothes? I don't know how long I'll be at the hospital and would prefer to be comfortable. You know where the spare key is."

"Will you be at Geaorge Washington?" Booth nodded and headed from the hall, his thoughts soley on his partner. His stomach knotted and his thoughts centered on her pregnancy. He knew she'd been having a difficult time the entire six months. Her nausea was especially bad having never disappeared. He hoped she wasn't in the hospital for early labor. She wanted this baby badly and for her to lose the little guy… The thought made his stomach turn further.

"Booth, thank god you're here," Angela said when he finally arrived at the hospital's emergency waiting room. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug. "The doctor's won't tell me anything but I think it's serious."

"What happened, Ange?"

"When we got back to the apartment, her fever got higher and by the time we got here it was at a critical level. She was rushed to the back and now I can't find anything out." Angela pulled away from Booth and wrung her hands together.

"Le me see what I can find out," he said and gave a reassuring squeeze to her shoulder. Booth approached the reception desk and smiled at the attendant there. "Hi, my name is Seeley Booth. I'm looking for information on Temperance Brennan."

"I'm sorry," the attendant said as she glanced at him. "The only person currently privy to any of her medical information is her proxy… which is you. Oh. I'll have someone come out and speak with you right away."

"Isn't there anything you can tell me about her condition?"

"No, I'm sorry. A doctor will be with you shortly." She offered a smile and turned back to the computer. Booth blew out a breath and ran a hand over his hair. If they weren't going to tell him anything that had to be bad. He didn't want to think about what could be wrong. It would just be better to wait for the doctor. He looked to Angela who continued to pace the waiting area.

"Mr. Booth?" Seeley turned after what felt like hours to see a doctor standing in the doorway to the waiting area. "Would you please come with me? I have information on Temperance's condition." Booth locked eyes with Angela before following the doctor to the back.

"Okay doc, what's wrong with Temperance?"

"When she arrived at the emergency room, she had a fever registering one hundred and six degrees and suffered from pain in her back and abdomen. Because of her pregnancy we tested to see whether or not she was in labor. There were no registered contractions so the pain wasn't from premature labor."

"So her pregnancy is okay?" Booth asked and watched as the doctor's expression tightened up.

"Having ruled out labor there was one possibility to seriously consider. Because of the pain, fever, nausea and loss of appetite I diagnosed her with appendicitis. We took her into surgery immediately."

"So she's okay, right? I mean you removed her appendix and now she's fine, right?"

"Mr. Booth, you must understand that appendicitis during pregnancy is extremely dangerous. In most cases if the appendix ruptures the mother, child or both will die."

"So what are you saying?"

"Temperance's appendix had ruptured which is why her fever spiked so high, but unfortunately we were unable to save the baby."

Booth's knees buckled and he struggled to stay on his feet even as his stomach dropped out. He took a few deep breaths to steady his nerves but it wasn't happening. She couldn't have lost the baby, not when she wanted him so badly. He closed his eyes for a moment desperately trying to regain his equilibrium. His thoughts went back to a month and a half earlier when he and Temperance were looking at the ultrasound pictures from her appointment.

"So it's a boy huh?" He asked, grinning as he looked at the grainy image. Temperance smiled and nodded, her excitement obvious.

"I was thinking of the name Mossimo."

"Oh come on Bones, give the kid a good strong name like Joseph or Thomas or I don't know… Mark."

"I am not giving him a biblical name, and what's wrong with my name choice?"

"With a name like that, the kid's gonna get teased in school."

"I don't care, I like the name." She set her jaw stubbornly and looked at him, challenge in her eyes. Booth held up his hands in surrender as she smirked.

"Hey, I'm just looking out for his best interests, but if you like the name then Mossimo it is." Booth gulped past the lump in his throat and looked at the doctor.

"Has she been told about the baby yet?"

"No, she's just come out of surgery. She'll be informed when she wakes up."

"Listen, I need to be the one to tell her."

"I understand. We'll also be in touch regarding Baby Boy Brennan's remains." Booth clenched and unclenched his hands before swinging to look at the doctor.

"His name is Mossimo, okay?" When the doctor nodded, Booth looked relieved and followed him to Brennan's room. His heart squeezed when he saw her asleep in the hospital bed. She looked so innocent and untroubled as she slept. His heart broke as he sat bedside and took her hand. For now she slept, but when she woke up he'd have to bring a nightmare to her.


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: I mentioned before that there would be a slight spoiler in this chapter, and that spoiler answers some questions that many of you had about the last chapter. Again, if you don't want to have anything spoiled for you then I would suggest waiting until after you see the season premiere of Bones. Then you can read. I honestly don't know if I'm satisfied with this chapter but I wanted to get something posted for all of you. I'm hoping that Brennan doesn't come across as too cold or aloof at the end of the chapter, but I'll leave that up to you to judge. As always, enjoy and please let me know what you think at the end._

"Okay, everyone's here, so what's going on," Camille Saroyan asked as she rushed into the hospital waiting room. She'd been at the White House chatting with a senator when Booth took his leave before the ceremony even began. About the time that she learned from Andrew Hacker, Booth's boss that Seeley left because Temperance was in the hospital, she gathered the rest of the team to head to George Washington and find out what was going on. It was hectic to say the least, and hard to not panic without all of the details, but if there was one thing that she learned in her time at the Jeffersonian it was that all information would present itself eventually.

Angela looked relieved to see everyone as her husband, Hodgins pulled her into a hug. She had tear stains on her cheeks and her face was puffy from crying. She took a deep breath and after a moment turned to face the rest of the group.

"Booth is the only one being allowed to see Bren right now, but he said that she wasn't doing too well. I don't know if I have all of the information, but he said something about appendicitis and that Brennan lost the baby." Angela's eyes filled with tears again as the others gasped in surprise at her news. Cam shook her head and dropped her chin down to her chest as she crossed her arms.

"Oh god, a burst appendix will do it every time."

"I just can't help but think that maybe if she'd used Booth's stuff after all that this wouldn't have happened," Angela said and swiped a hand at the flow of tears on her cheeks.

"What are you talking about?" The group looked to the entrance of the waiting room at the new arrival. Hannah Burley, Booth's girlfriend stood there with a duffel bag over her shoulder and a confused look on her face. Cam winced once she realized that Hannah didn't know as much about Booth and Brennan's relationship as she should and squared her shoulders to handle the situation head on.

"A couple of years ago, Dr. Brennan got it into her head that she wanted to have a child and asked Booth if he would donate his semen for her. He agreed, but ultimately she decided not to have the child."

Hannah stood in the doorway facing the rest of Temperance's friends, feeling as though they were waiting for an explosion to go off. She calmly walked over to a chair and set down the duffle bag before turning back to the group of colleagues and friends.

"Okay, so what made her decide ultimately to not have the child? It seems kind of odd to me that she would go so far as to ask for a donation and then not do it, especially since she ended up going through the whole process later on."

"It was probably because of Booth's brain tumor," Angela said as she leaned into Hodgins for support. If only Bren had gone through with the insemination process back then, this wouldn't be happening now. Hell, she probably wouldn't have left for Indonesia and Booth might have stayed in DC instead of going to Afghanistan. None of this would be happening now, but instead her best friend was in the hospital because of appendicitis and now the baby she wanted was gone. It just wasn't fair.

"What do you mean brain tumor?"

"Oh god, Seeley never told you?" Cam looked a little shell shocked. Everyone was surprised when Booth came back from Afghanistan with the news that he met someone overseas, and they were even more shocked when she arrived a short time later to be with him. She'd since become part of their group albeit on the fringes, but it never occurred to the pathologist that one of her dearest friends wasn't sharing his life with his girlfriend.

"I think that's for you to discuss with Booth," Cam said, feeling very much in the middle of a situation that didn't appeal to her at all. She was a coroner so she wouldn't have to deal with delicate situations, but somehow always seemed to get in the middle of them. "Right now, we need to be focused on Dr. Brennan. She's going to have a tough time adjusting to this and we all know what's going to happen."

"She's going to compartmentalize her feelings of loss," Sweets said from his seat near the door. "We're all going to need to give her some space but not allow her to withdraw the way that she'll want to after this."

"I still don't understand how appendicitis could be so toxic. Was it something with the surgery?" asked Angela, her gaze on Cam for the moment. She couldn't help but feel that Hannah's presence kept Brennan from using Booth's donation for her insemination. They were supposed to be parents together, damn it.

"Appendicitis is almost always fatal to both child and mother," Cam said as she wrapped her arms tighter around her waist. "A study was done in one hospital to find out how much of a difference it made with appendicitis to wait until the appendix burst so that there wouldn't be any unnecessary surgeries to compromise the pregnancies. After seven cases came through the hospital they decided that it was ethically the right thing to do to end the study because in that group of seven pregnancies, six of the babies died and three of the mothers did as well. It was just too high of a death toll to allow the study to continue. Temperance is extremely lucky that she didn't lose her life as well."

"That's awful," Hannah said, putting a hand over her mouth. She genuinely liked the anthropologist even though the woman took up much of Seeley's time because of the work they did together. No one should have to go through the loss of a child that way. If it had been her, she'd be blaming herself for not realizing that she was sick sooner. "Poor Temperance, she has to feel terrible."

"I just hate that we can't go and see her," Angela said as she finally sunk down into a chair. Hannah looked at the dejected artist and squared her shoulders. She picked up the duffle bag and walked over to the reception desk.

"Yes, excuse me I'm looking for Temperance Brennan's room number?" Hannah smiled at the attendant as the young woman looked up at her.

"I'm sorry, but no one is allowed back to see her. You'll just have to check back in the morning."

"You know, normally I would love that, but the man in there with her, Seeley Booth? He requested that I bring some clothes for him," she said as she held up the duffle bag, "and since I don't know what room she's in, can you please call and at least let him know that I'm here."

The attendant looked at her and narrowed her eyes for a moment. Hannah simply smiled at her until the attendant let out a sigh and picked up the phone.

"What's your name please?"

"Hannah Burley. Thank you so much, I really appreciate this." Hannah waited while the call was made, and as the attendant hung up, she glanced up at the news correspondent.

"Go ahead back to room 318. They're expecting you, but don't let anyone know that I let you through. This is totally against hospital policy."

"I really do appreciate this, thank you." With that, Hannah headed down the hall to the patient rooms. She found the room easily enough and knocked lightly on the door. Once she heard the muffled "come in" she pushed it open and stepped inside. The sight that greeted her made her heart clench in her chest. Seeley sat alongside Temperance on the bed. He had his shoes kicked off onto the floor, his tie loosened, a couple of buttons on his shirt undone for comfort and his arms were wrapped around Temperance. The anthropologist had her head resting on his shoulder, and it was quite obvious that she'd spent some time crying.

"How's she holding up," Hannah asked as she came farther into the room. She felt uncomfortable there as though she were intruding on an intimate moment between two people in love. Booth looked over at her and offered up a sad smile.

"She's devastated, not that she'd tell anyone else. Did you bring me a change of clothes?"

"I did," she said and held up the bag, "although I'm wondering if it would be better for you to come home tonight. Angela's out in the waiting room and really wants to see Temperance, and you have Parker at home, not that I would mind being there with him, but he would probably be more comfortable with his dad around."

"I really don't want to leave her alone," Booth said and glanced down at Temperance's sleeping form. He really should go home and be with his son. Besides, Max was probably anxious to get down here and see to his daughter. "Just let me change and I'll have Angela take over for me."

"I'll head back to the waiting room and let Angela know."

"Thanks baby," Booth said and kissed her after he got off of the bed. Temperance opened her eyes for a brief moment, but immediately rolled to her left side and went back to sleep. Hannah watched as he gently tucked the blanket around Temperance's shoulders. She waited until he was in the bathroom and changing before she left the room to give the news to the distraught artist. She didn't want the anthropologist to be alone anymore than anyone else did, but Seeley didn't need to be the one there with her. She had other friends and family just as worried about her as he was, and they deserved to spend time with her as well.

XxXxX

Temperance woke up to a dull ache in her abdomen. The entire area felt like it was pulsing, and she grimaced as she rolled onto her back. She opened her eyes and confusion filled them for just a moment before everything from the night before came flooding back. As tears began to fill her eyes again, she closed them and took a deep breath. It was time to close the door on the feelings for her stillborn son because they didn't do her any good. She hated crying and she wasn't going to spend time grieving someone that she never even got to meet. She didn't grieve her mother for very long once she discovered that she was dead and she could do the same thing here. A little voice in the back of her mind called her a liar, but she ignored it. Emotions were fleeting and this too would pass especially if she didn't focus on it.

"Oh Bren thank god you're awake." Temperance turned her head and once she re-opened her eyes, she focused on Angela at her bedside.

"I wasn't in a coma Angela. The medication issued me by the hospital staff has just rendered me sleepy."

"That doesn't mean I haven't been worried about you Sweetie. How are you holding up?" Angela bit her lip and looked at Bren worriedly. The anthropologist seemed remarkably held together for a woman who'd just gone through what she had.

"I'm in a fair amount of pain from the surgery but apart from that I'm fine."

"That's not what I was talking about. I mean do you want to talk? How are you holding up?" Angela watched her friend sigh and look up at the ceiling for a moment.

"Grief is going to get me nowhere. Believing that parents shouldn't outlive their children is a luxury of the Developed world. In areas of high infant mortality women would be required to move on from a miscarriage or stillborn and continue working and tending to their family. I see no reason why I should be any different simply because of where I happen to live."

"Sweetie, don't you do this. Don't you dare try to compartmentalize your feelings about your baby. You wanted that little boy so badly. Don't try to trivialize your emotions for him."

"What do you want me to say Angela? There's absolutely nothing that I can do to bring him back so why should I waste tears wishing for things that don't happen? Maybe I should have gotten pregnant back when the idea originally struck, or maybe I should have waited. It's no good wishing for a different outcome. The baby didn't survive and I need to move past it."

"You know, sometimes I don't know how you can be so logical about things. Sometimes you need to let yourself feel and experience life. Quit trying to hide behind logic because it hurts so much to feel." Angela huffed under her breath and began to pace the room. She didn't notice the way that Temperance kept following her movement with her eyes until finally she was facing the anthropologist again.

"What do you want from me?"

"I just want you to be honest with me about how you feel. Be honest with yourself while you're at it."

"If you promise not to keep anything from me, then I promise to be honest with you, though I always am."

"And when haven't I been honest with you?" Angela locked eyes with her best friend, waiting for Brennan's response. It didn't take long in coming.

"How long were you intending to wait to inform me that you were pregnant?"


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: Thanks to those of you who've left reviews for this story. I do want to clear up a couple of things from the last chapter regarding information that may or may not have been clear in this story. I think that people assumed that Booth and Brennan were supposed to be together, but because I'm a spoiler whore I knew that he was to have a girlfriend this season. I happen to like said girlfriend and as such am not planning on making her a villain so no psycho girlfriend goes after Brennan stuff in here. Some of you were a bit upset that she 'made' Booth leave Brennan to go home to his son, but please remember that she was trying to get Angela an opportunity to see Brennan and remind Booth that he does have a son at home. Plus Max might want to check in on his daughter too. I wasn't trying to have her be all evil and keep Booth from Brennan. Booth could very easily have stayed at her side, but he is an adult with obligations._

_Now that my rant is over, I hope you'll all take the time to watch episode Two of 'The Whole Truth' on hulu. You can see me in the background of the prison shots at roughly twelve and eighteen minutes in. I'm playing a corrections officer and I have my hair pulled up in a ponytail. And with that, I hope you enjoy this chapter which was partially inspired by a Patty Loveless song, the verse to follow. Please let me know what you think at the end of the chapter. As always, I appreciate the feedback._

_How can I help you to say goodbye?_

_It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry._

_Come let me hold you and I will try_

_How can I help you to say goodbye?_

"Sweetie, I wasn't trying to hide anything from you, honestly. Jack and I just wanted to wait until I was out of my first trimester before we said anything about it, and if you'll recall you did the exact same thing."

"Ange, I'm happy for you. You've wanted to have children and now you're going to be a mother. Congratulations." Temperance reached out and hugged her friend, fighting off the tears welling in her eyes. She wanted to be happy but couldn't control the feeling of jealousy that stabbed through her chest. It was so wrong to feel this way, but she just couldn't help it. Why did she have to lose a baby when her friend was just announcing her pregnancy? With a deep breath, she let go of Angela and noticed that tears filled her best friend's eyes as well. "What's the matter?"

"I just… our kids should have been able to grow up together and now I feel guilty about what happened and it's just not fair Bren. How are you so calm about all of this? I'd be a total wreck if I were in your shoes, well more so than I am now."

"What's the use in feeling guilty about something that's completely out of your control? These things happen and in the majority of the world…"

"No Brennan, don't you dare try to turn this into some anthropological inevitability or whatever. This is personal to you and it's personal to me because the timing is just really terrible to be announcing that I'm pregnant. I should have just told you when I found out."

"Your telling me before now wouldn't have changed what's occurred. I should have been more in tune to my body and what was going on." Brennan turned away from Angela, blinking back the tears that welled. She hoped this wouldn't be a perpetual state for her. She didn't grieve nearly this much for her mother. With a quick intake of breath, she looked back at her friend hating the look of pity on Angela's face.

"Sweetie, you couldn't know that this would happen. I mean, you've had complications all through your pregnancy and this whole situation just seemed to fit with those symptoms. Don't you dare blame yourself for losing the baby. I won't allow it, do you hear me?" Temperance opened her mouth to respond to her friend, but stopped at the knock on the door. Both women turned to look as Max peeked into the room and smiled at his daughter.

"Hi honey, I thought I'd drop by to see how you're doing. Booth said you were asleep when he left so I didn't come by last night." He stepped into the room and waved a tin of cookies in the air. "Snickerdoodles. I know how terrible hospital food can be so I thought I'd bring in a little contraband. How are you feeling sweetheart?"

"Well the pain killers given to me appear to be working because my level of pain isn't unbearable. You didn't have to come by dad. I'm not here for much longer."

"Nonsense honey. What kind of father would I be if I didn't stop in to see my daughter?" Max leaned in over the bed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. As he stood up he turned to Angela and offered her a smile. "Angela, you look positively radiant today."

"Thanks Max." Angela glanced down at her watch and stood up. "Cam needs me back at the lab, so I'm going to head out. Sweetie, call me if you need anything." Angela slipped out of the room and Max took her seat at Brennan's bedside. He looked at his daughter for a long time before speaking again.

"How are you really?"

"Dad, I told you, I'm fine. The pain is dulled and I'll be released tomorrow morning."

"Don't kid a kidder Tempe. You know you can't try to con me, it doesn't work that way. Tell me what I can do to help you get through this."

"There's nothing to get through. My appendix burst and the toxins killed the fetus. It's just nature; there's nothing I could do to stop it from happening." Brennan looked away from her father and began to fiddle with the covers on her bed. Her evasive behavior didn't put off Max as he reached over and took her hand in his. He gave her a reassuring squeeze and waited until she looked at him again.

"Tempe, I know you're hurting over this whether you want to admit it or not. You and I think alike you know, and if I'm having a hard time coping with the fact that my little girl is in pain – emotional and otherwise – then I know that you are too. Don't try to keep it all inside baby. You have to let yourself grieve."

"Grieving does nothing. It's better to just move past it and not dwell in thoughts of what if."

"That's a load of bull and you know it. Do you know what would have happened to me if I'd bottled up my feelings about leaving you and Russ? What about your mother, huh? Honey, I know that it's partially my fault that you distance yourself from your feelings but you need to let yourself grieve so you can heal. It's okay to hurt. Just let it out. I don't like to see my little girl in pain." He looked at Temperance for a long time, holding open his arms when the tears started to fall. She leaned into him and began to sob when his arms tightened around her.

"I wanted him so badly. I'm tired of being alone and he was my chance to know that someone would always be in my life."

"I know sweetheart, I know. It hurts, allowing yourself to feel, but it'll help I promise."

"I just…" Temperance's breath hitched and she struggled to get it under control. Max closed his eyes against the pain in his daughter's cries, his stomach tightening and moisture gathering in his own eyes. She'd been hurt so many times in her life and tried so hard to steel herself from the hurt of having emotions, but something had to give.

Brennan tried to get her breathing under control as the tears streamed down her face. She'd never cried so hard in her life regardless of what had happened. Her anger at her parent's disappearance kept her from crying then, and she quickly learned in the foster system that there wasn't a lot of room for emotions. None of her families cared and tears just made things worse. Now though she sobbed her breathing difficult as she tried to gasp in air. Her shoulders shook and still her father's arms remained around her, his hands rubbing soothing circles onto her back.

"It's okay baby, I understand. You just cry as long as you need to, okay?" Max kept his grip strong on her as she sobbed, his heart breaking for her. "I'll bet you didn't know that your mother miscarried a couple of times. It didn't matter how far along she was; it hurt every time it happened. Once you learn about that new life that's part of you, it's amazing. You have this creation, this miracle that will have a connection with you forever, and to lose that and know you'll never see them grow up? I understand how that feels baby. I know you want to keep all of this hurt inside, but you need to let it out. Don't keep your emotions inside anymore. Let yourself feel or you'll pull so far away from everyone that it'll be too hard to connect with anyone."

"It hurts less when I don't let myself feel." Temperance pulled free from her father as she finally felt like she could breathe again and looked at him. Her eyes and face were puffy and there were tears still streaming down her cheeks, but she was in better control of herself.

"Yes, but in keeping it inside, you're hurting yourself. The pain will lessen sweetheart, you just have to let it out first." Max reached up and swiped at the tears on Brennan's face. He smiled at her tenderly and handed over the tin of cookies. "Here, have a cookie. It'll make you feel better."

Temperance let out a laugh that turned to a sob, but reached for a cookie regardless. As she bit into it, her father relaxed back into his seat and began to hum, trying to offer comfort the only way he knew how.

"I've been thinkin' 'bout all the times you told me. You're so full of doubt; you just can't let it be…"

XxXxX

Booth tapped a pen on his desk as he looked over the report in front of him. He couldn't concentrate on it as his thoughts kept drifting back to his partner. He hurt for her at the loss of her child and part of him hated that he couldn't share that grief with her. He knew why she chose to use a different donor when she began the whole 'baby' process, but it still didn't sit too well with him. He has Hannah, she had reasoned, and it wouldn't be fair to him or his girlfriend for her to use his sperm for the child. She didn't want Hannah to feel that by using his donation she was making an unspoken claim on him. It was a very unselfish thing for her to do, and he loved her all the more for taking such a stand on the issue. He glanced at the time and stood up to leave. It was time to stop in and see how Temperance was doing. As he headed for the elevator, he let out a groan as his boss, Andrew Hacker approached.

"Ah Agent Booth, just the man I was looking for. Could you come with me for a moment?" Andrew waved his hand in the direction of his office and walked alongside Booth as they headed there.

"I hope this won't take too long sir, I was just on my way to check on Bones."

"This shouldn't take too long, and make sure that you let her know that I said hello." Andrew led Booth to a seat and sat across from him at his desk, folding his hands on the mahogany surface. "Now, about last night…"

"I thought that Cam told you where I was going."

"Yes, I did speak to Dr. Saroyan after you dashed away from a dinner at the White House, key words in this sentence would be White House. Agent Booth, I respect you and your set of ethics. God knows your work here has done wonders for my own career, but I really have to wonder what the hell you were thinking when you ran out of there last night. I'm sure that you were worried about your partner, but that's no reason to just bolt from a dinner that was essentially in your honor at the White House. It was quite awkward having to explain that you'd left your own party to the President of the United States."

"Bones lost her baby last night sir, and I felt that it was a little more important to be at the hospital with her than to accept a piece of paper from the president."

"Oh, I didn't realize… Dr. Saroyan didn't go into detail about Temperance's condition."

"Was that all sir, or did you need me for something?"

"Yes actually," he said and slid a file across the desk to Booth, "Your support on that RICO bust a couple of years back has kept you in the sight of Organized Crime. You're going to be working with one of their agents on a case involving a child abduction. A local boy, son of Carmine Romano went missing two nights ago. The family believes he's been taken by a rival 'businessman' and we have some evidence that the child has been seen in Philadelphia. The Deputy Director happens to have heard that you're from Philly so he'd like you to assist on this. You'll be headed up there this evening."

"Fine, I'll get the details and head up as soon as I can." Booth stood and left the office, the file under his arm. He had to hurry up if he wanted to see Brennan and have enough time to get up to Philly. With a quick shake of his head, he hurried to the elevator. First he needed to stop home and let Hannah know that he'd be gone on a case, and then he could take the time to see his partner. No matter what, he had to check in on Brennan. She needed support right now and even if he was a couple states away, he was going to offer her as much support as he could.


	4. Chapter 4

Booth stepped into Temperance's hospital room with a bouquet of daisies and a smile. He watched her from the doorway for a moment as Max stood to take his leave and then he moved to her bedside and sat down.

"Hey Bones, thought I'd bring you something to brighten up this room," he said as he handed the bouquet to her. She offered him a smile as she took the flowers taking a moment to just admire the sunny flowers. Booth waited before he leaned back to get a bit more comfortable in his seat. "I also thought I'd stop by before I have to head out of town and see how you're doing."

"You'll be leaving? How long will you be away?" She set the flowers down on a table by the side of her bed and turned her full attention onto her partner. "Is there a case?"

"Well I am on a case, but it's nothing involving the Jeffersonian. I've got to head up to Philly for a while, and at the moment I'm not sure how long. I'm assisting the organized crime division with something so…" he shrugged rather helplessly. He really didn't want to leave town right now, but he had no choice. Temperance needed a support net but there was no way for him to pass on this assignment. Luckily she had her team and her family to help her through the rough patches to come. That didn't mean leaving his best friend in her time of need wasn't tough. "Look, if I could stay you know that I would."

"Booth, you're doing your job and that's what's important. I'll be fine. Cam has me scheduled off for the rest of the week and then I'll be returning to the Jeffersonian on Monday, even though I informed her that I didn't need a week off."

"Eh, take the time to yourself and relax. You need to give yourself a window to take care of everything," Booth said and cleared his throat. He looked away from her for a moment not sure if he wanted to broach a delicate subject with her but it needed to be done. "I mean has the doctor been in to discuss what to do with Mossimo's remains?"

Temperance stared at Booth for a long moment, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. The doctor had indeed come in while her father sat with her and she'd made the arrangements to have him cremated. There was no need to have a funeral for a baby that never even saw the light of day, on that detail she was adamant even though her father tried to get her to consider laying the baby to rest next to her mother. No, she just couldn't do it.

"I've taken care of the details. He'll be cremated this weekend." Booth looked at her as though she'd grown a second head.

"What do you mean you're having him cremated? Why don't you want to give him a burial?"

"Booth, my decision is really none of your business. He was my child and I made the arrangements that I felt were the most appropriate. I don't need you or anyone else telling me that I'm being ridiculous." She crossed her arms as she continued to look at her partner. Booth held her gaze for a long time before he sighed and shook his head.

"I'm not trying to pick a fight with you Bones, okay? I just thought that you might want to have somewhere to you know, visit the little guy."

"If I want to 'visit' with him then I'll choose to keep him in an urn. Now, if there's nothing else then you should probably be on your way. I wouldn't want you to be late for your assignment."

"Fine, I get it. You don't want to talk about this right now. I'll call you when I get to Philly, and I want you to call me if you need someone to talk to, okay? I'll see you later." With that, he got up and headed out of the room. He hated it when she started to shut down emotionally, and that's what she was obviously doing. Whatever she'd discussed with her father was probably emotionally taxing and she'd had enough of feeling. He got that, but it still pissed him off when she did it. He offered his shoulder to cry on and now it was up to her whether or not she took up the offer.

XxXxX

The month went by quickly and once Brennan got back to work, time seemed to fly by for her. She threw herself into her work in a way she hadn't done for years, and when she wasn't at work, she was getting settled into her new home. Despite moving into the house with the purpose of having a larger space for a child, she decided to keep the house. She had something to keep her occupied and pretty soon her life was back to a steady rhythm.

Angela was beginning to show at sixteen weeks and absolutely glowed with happiness. Temperance had to admit to herself that she was somewhat jealous of her friend, but that envious streak was held in serious check to keep from hurting the artist in any way. It just didn't feel right that everything was going so smoothly for Angela when she had struggled through the pregnancy.

These thoughts occupied her as she sat at the Royal Diner waiting for her father to join her for lunch. Max took up the duty of dining with her at least once a week while Booth was away and today happened to be the day for their lunch.

"Hi honey," he said as he slid in across from her. "It's days like this I wish that fall got here a little bit faster." Max wiped away the sweat on his brow from the oppressive August heat. Brennan offered him a smile and leaned in over the table a little to catch the air coming from the AC vent over the table.

"I will admit that it's rather warm out today."

"Oh, it's a scorcher. By the way, did Russ call you about coming to visit? He said something about wanting to bring the girls out before they had to go back to school."

"Yes, I talked to him last night and made arrangements for them to stay next week. Since you aren't using my guest house, they'll be staying there rather than use a hotel."

"Good idea. Are you going to have Parker over as well? The girls were asking about him." Brennan frowned at her father's suggestion. Since Booth left for his case, she hadn't seen or called Parker at all. There was no need to interact with him if his father wasn't around. Now she wondered if she'd overlooked some sort of social more involving the children of non-family members.

"I hadn't thought to call him. I suppose I can make arrangements with Rebecca for him to visit one day while the girls are here."

"Great, I'd love to see him again. You know, he is such a smart cookie. He reminds me a lot of you when you were his age."

"Dad, I highly doubt that Parker has anything in common with me mostly because we share no common DNA." The door to the diner chimed and Brennan looked up, surprised to see Jared Booth and his wife Padme coming in from the street. She watched the couple as they turned and waved when they spotted her. Max turned to see who was there and quickly moved next to his daughter to allow Booth's family to join them at the table.

"Temperance, it's always good to see you," Padme said as she slid in across from the anthropologist. "Hannah told us that Seeley was out of town. I guess we both thought you'd be with him working on a case."

"No, he's away for something that doesn't relate to the Jeffersonian although I do admit that I'm beginning to worry about him. It's been a month now and he still doesn't know when he'll be returning."

"Yeah that's what Hannah said," Jared commented as he too slid into the booth seat. He wrapped his arm around his wife and pulled her in close to his side. He looked at Padme and the pair practically glowed in excitement. Brennan took a moment to scrutinize the pair as they returned their attention back to her. "It's probably a good thing that we ran into you though. Padme's been meaning to track you down the last couple of weeks."

"Oh really? What is it in regards to?"

"I wanted to know if you have any advice about pregnancy. We just found out that we're expecting and I know you're a few months ahead of me…" Padme stopped talking as she watched Brennan's expression go from curious to completely devoid of any emotion. The anthropologist looked at the other woman and it gave Padme a chill at the complete lack of emotion there.

"I wouldn't be the best person to ask in that regard. Maybe you should talk to my friend Angela or someone else. I'm sorry, but I really have to get back to work." Brennan pushed a bit at her father, who reluctantly moved out of her way. When she stood and left the diner without another word, she heard Padme gasp and knew what it meant. The other woman noticed that she was no longer showing. Maybe it wasn't fair that she'd treated Jared's wife so coldly but at the moment her news just seemed to be a cruel joke. Obviously the pair hadn't heard of her still birth, but the ignorance didn't do anything to stop the painful knot in Brennan's throat. As she marched back to the Jeffersonian, not caring about what was going on around her, Brennan drew in a little bit farther. Why were others being allowed this happiness when she had to lose what she wanted so badly?


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: I generally hate it when people leave notes about why they haven't updated a story in forever so I'll keep this brief. I have a new job that is not conducive when put with my having two little kids to getting any time on the computer. I'll update when I can but it's really difficult to have any time to get things typed up. That said, some of you might hate me after this chapter, but stick with the story because I have a few things up my sleeve. Please let me know what you think._

Temperance sat outside in the Jeffersonian as she ate her lunch and watched as people strolled through the gardens. Tourists and residents alike took advantage of the beautiful museum grounds as the leaves turned to red and gold, falling in a riot of color as winter approached. One family walked by, laughing and playing as the young mother pushed a baby carriage along a path toward the large fountain in the center of the gardens. She smiled at her family before leaning down and tucking a blanket around the baby inside.

Brennan sighed and looked away from the tender scene as she began to pack up the remnants of her lunch. After running into Jared and Padme a month earlier, she began to avoid the couples that she knew for fear that someone else would turn up pregnant. It wasn't fair to anyone around her, but it hurt that others got to be so happy when her chance was taken from her because of a medical emergency. It didn't feel right that they should get to be so happy and she not. The self inflicted avoidance didn't work anyhow. Two weeks after Jared's news, her brother and sister in law announced their own baby news.

"We're going to have a baby," Amy said when she, Russ and the girls joined Temperance and Max for dinner two weeks earlier.

"Congratulations you two," Max exclaimed and leaned over to hug his daughter in law. Brennan offered them a smile, but promptly stood up and left the table. She could feel Russ' eyes on her as she left, but just couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to wish them well.

"What's the matter with Tempe," he asked and she scoffed rather loudly as she made her way to her bedroom. She might have trouble reading and expressing emotion but even he had to realize what was bothering her. They already had two little girls. Couldn't she be the one to have the next child? Now all she needed was to get word that her independent cousin Margaret was expecting or worse yet, Booth and Hannah and her day would be oh so complete.

She felt terrible as she flopped down onto her bed and stared at the ceiling, but it was incredibly difficult not to feel bitter about the sudden upsurge in fertility around her.

"Honey, are you okay in there? Can I come in?"

"The door's unlocked dad," she called out and turned her head to look at her father as he slipped into the room. He sat down next to her and smiled at her weary expression.

"You know, it's times like these that I think a vacation is in order. You should take one for a couple of weeks."

"I can't just leave. The last time I did my world changed irrevocably."

"Well, that's what worlds do you know? Life is all about change, but I'm just thinking that maybe you should do it to give yourself a bit of a break, get your equilibrium back in place."

"My equilibrium is fine."

"Well then do it to give yourself a chance to think away from your friends and family. Do you want to try again for a child or are you thinking about adoption?"

"I don't qualify for adoption because I have a felony charge on my record," Brennan said as she sat up. She sighed and picked at the hem of her skirt. "I don't know if I want to go through pregnancy again. What if I lost another one? I don't know if I could handle it emotionally."

"Honey, you pride yourself on your strength and whether you believe it or not, you're emotionally strong as well. Don't give up just because you're hurting now. If you really want a child then your stillbirth won't stop you from having one. Just take some time off, a couple of weeks maybe and figure out what you want to do."

"I think that idea has some merit."

"Good, then how about this, I'll make the arrangements for you and you get the time off. That way I know you aren't going somewhere just to work."

That was two weeks ago and she was scheduled to leave in the morning. Her only regret to the trip was that she still hadn't heard from Booth. His time away kept extending and she had hoped to say goodbye to him before leaving. She stood and gathered her belongings to head back inside the museum when a set of very familiar footsteps approached. Temperance turned around and smiled brightly at Booth as he reached her.

"I was just thinking about you," she said as he pulled her into a hug. "I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"Saying goodbye? What's going on Bones?"

"It's nothing to worry about. I'm taking a few weeks off for a vacation. I just need some time away to work out my life."

"I don't think I've ever heard you talk like this. What's going on, are you okay?"

"I'm fine Booth, but I…" She looked away from her partner as she pulled out of the hug. Physical contact with him was difficult because she knew she was too late to win him. That conversation was had long before she returned to her desire to have a child. "Have you talked to your brother?"

"No. I haven't heard from Jared in a few months, why?"

"He and Padme are pregnant, as are Russ and Amy. It feels as though everyone is getting what was taken from me and I just need to escape for a while."

"So that's why you're going on vacation?"

"Yes. I need a change in my life and maybe this will lead me in the direction that I need to go. I don't like feeling so unsure of myself but I'm tired of being alone and I missed one chance for happiness. I don't want to miss out on another."

"Bones, I told you how I feel. You have to realize how much I love Hannah. I don't like feeling that I hurt you but it's not fair to think that I would just drop her and come running to you. You turned me down and I said I had to move on."

"I know, and I accept that decision. That's why I have to leave. I need to find my own happiness and maybe this will afford me that opportunity."

"When do you leave?"

"My flight leaves late this evening. I have some work that I need to finish up and then dad is taking me to the airport."

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be flying down to the Bahamas and chartering a boat to take me around the islands. Dad made all of the arrangements so I wouldn't have the opportunity to focus on work." Brennan smiled a bit and shook her head. It felt good that someone knew her that well.

"I don't think I like the idea of you out on a boat in the middle of the ocean with some complete stranger. You have this way of drawing trouble to you."

"You're forgetting one thing Booth. My father made all of the arrangements and there is no way that he would allow me to be in any type of a dangerous situation." Brennan turned her smile on Booth before heading back into the museum. She glanced once over her shoulder as she walked away to see him watching her. If she couldn't be happy with him then maybe she could find happiness with someone else. Wasn't it her turn to have a good moment in life?

XxXxX

Temperance walked along the harbor as she looked for the charter company her father booked for her. The warm sun beat down on her and a breeze washed over her, lifting her hair up off of her shoulders as her skirt rustled around her legs. The few days away from Washington invigorated her and gave her the chance to really mourn the loss of her son. With so many people around and more people constantly becoming pregnant she didn't have the chance to allow herself to focus on her feelings. How could she be happy for them when she couldn't even be sad for her own loss?

The change in scenery was just what she needed and the time on the ocean between islands would allow for her to be away from everything in a very literal sense. She pulled herself from her musings and glanced down the dock, finally seeing the small desk of the boat charter company. There wasn't anyone there as she approached and she looked around to see if the captain was nearby.

"Hello? I have a boat chartered here," she called out and jumped back a little in surprise as a man popped up from behind the small desk.

"Oh my god, Tempe?" The man stepped out from behind the desk to look at her and she gasped in realization.

"Sully? What are you doing here?"

"I run this little charter business. One of my guys is running a little late today so I'm covering the desk until he gets here. You look fantastic. I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

"I was going to say the same thing about you. This is your charter company?"

"Yeah. Business has been really good for me and I've been able to purchase a couple other boats. They aren't as big as the Temperance, but it's enough for now. Are you the one booked for the next two weeks?"

"Yes, although I'm finally understanding why it was that my father said it was fate that he booked the company he did."

"And you're here by yourself? I would have thought you'd be with your boyfriend or whatever." He took the reservation sheet from Temperance and began to process it as they talked.

"No, I'm still single. What about you?"

"I'm not currently seeing anyone. You mean to tell me that you and Booth broke up? I never thought that would happen."

"Breaking up with someone would require that we were together to begin with, and since Booth is currently in a relationship with someone else, it's not practical that we would be dating."

"You never… then why did you say no to me? I thought for sure that you stayed behind for him."

"No, there were other reasons that I didn't leave with you. I merely realized too late what I lost." The pair looked at each other for a long moment before Sully tore away his gaze and finished up with the paperwork.

"My only regret was that I didn't fight harder to keep you," he said as his employee made his way toward them, "although I can't say that I regret coming here. It's been good for me."

"Yes, I have to admit that the time away from home has been refreshing," she said and followed Sully toward the Temperance. Her heart squeezed a little as she saw the ship. Even though she let him go, she knew even then what it was she gave up. Sully was a wonderful man and he genuinely cared about her, maybe even loved her. Was this her chance to have a forever person too?

"Look, maybe I'll get burned by asking this, but no harm, no foul right? Since it's just you and me for the next week and a half, why don't we just see where things take us." Brennan looked at her ex for a long moment as he helped her up onto the boat. She lost her footing a bit and fell forward, his arms steadying her back onto her feet. Their eyes met and she smiled at him.

"I think I'd like that very much."


End file.
